Want to Improve Your Relationships?

Relationships are essential to our lives. They provide us with emotional support and a sense of belonging. They can also be a source of stress and conflict. Many factors contribute to the success or failure of a relationship, but one of the most important is the ratio of positive to negative interactions. 

This is on my mind because when we want the best for others, it is easy to fall into giving them advice on how to improve.  I have two teenage daughters who are launching out into the world and as a mom, it is easy to wonder if I taught them all they need to know and want to push them to be the best they can be. This is wonderful, but if you are not careful how you give out the advice, it can be taken as critical and destructive in the relationship.  

Research suggests that it takes five positive comments to counteract the effect of one negative remark. This may seem like an insurmountable task, but it is important to remember that words, tone, and attitude matter. How we demonstrate each of these is our choice. If we create a positive environment, we will see our relationships flourish. People like to be around those who like them and make them feel good about themselves. By making the effort to be positive, we can make a lasting impact on our relationships.

While some may immediately dismiss this as overly optimistic, it is hard to deny that negativity breeds negativity.  If you’re constantly critical and dismissive of others, it’s only natural that they would start to feel the same way about you. Who do you enjoy being around more, someone who is constantly critical and negative or someone who is generally upbeat and positive? Those who claim they are realists are often too self-absorbed to look for the positive traits in others. If we create a negative environment, our relationships will suffer. 

However, if we choose to be positive, we will see our relationships flourish. People like to be around those who like them and by extension, are more likely to reciprocate positive sentiment. People are drawn to your good mood and feel more inclined to reciprocate your behavior. It’s easy to see how this simple concept can have a major impact on our relationships. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who is always putting them down? When we focus on the positive, we create a much more enjoyable environment for both ourselves and those around us. Optimism is not pie in the sky - it is a choice that can lead to healthier, happier relationships.

How are you treating your relationships?  Are you looking for the best in people or are you constantly focused on how to improve the other person?  Do you agree with this post?